Self Deception: Truth Matters

This past week the top American Newscaster for NBC news, Brian Williams, stepped down temporarily pending an investigation into his journalistic practices. In 2003 he was flying in a Chinook Helicopter. Another Chinook helicopter flying a completely different mission, in a completely different direction took fire. It took his production team, public relations team, camera crew and him at least an hour to get the the helicopter named “Big Windy.” When he landed what started out as a small half truth, began his downward spiral into self deception.

Nehemiah 4:3 “Yes, what they are building—if a fox goes up on it he will break down their stone wall!”

What initially started out as a news report quickly became a story of stolen valor. The newscaster began to fabricate his personal tale of heroism and attribute the actions of the other valiant chinook crew to himself. Nearly 11 years later, dozens of talks shows, and countless primetime newslots later his story grew into an embellished tale of his heroism of RPG fire. What was all the furore about? We expect our journalists to speak truth. They are supposed to be a source of information not disinformation.

Tobiah, as we know is a Jewish name, but his identity is now “the Ammonite servant.” What caused this? Nothing more than self deception. Sir Walter Scott put it this way:

Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive

What starts out as a fib to avoid persecution, “I am Ammonite, not Jewish.” Years later will lead him to a complete loss of honour and dignity. He even becomes mean spirited and mocks his fellow Jews, “Why are you building these rubbled walls? If a fox jumps on them they will fall down.” If you have ever seen a fox, it is a very light creature. The walls of Jerusalem we know from archaelogical digs are nearly 9 feet thick. There is now way a small and nimble creature like a fox could topple the wall with their little paws. His self deception was complete.

Jesus said, “I am the Truth.”(John 14:6). Truth is important because it grants us a sense of identity. Borrowed glories, conflated half truths are transitory and will be found out. We will be left not knowing who we really are. Jesus promise to us is that truth will undo the damage of self deception. Live in the reality of the truth of his love and care. Lay aside your falsely borrowed glories and receive the truth of his gifted glory.

“…and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Honesty is Freeing

One of the funnest things I love doing is planning weekend fun with my family. I love it when Sophia and Michelle are excited about the plans for the weekend. The joy of planning the family movie nights, the countryside walks, the outdoor sports, the bowling alley, the play dates, or even just the jammie day. I could keep plans and thoughts to myself, but truth be told, honesty is freeing.

Nehemiah 2:19b They jeered at us and despised us and said, “What is this thing that you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?” 20 Then I replied to them, “The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build, but you have no portion or right or claim in Jerusalem.”

Read Nehemiah 2:11-20

Surely that isn’t the case, you might think, when first reading this passage. Doesn’t Nehemiah hide his intentions? Doesn’t he go out in the still of the night, undetected, so that no one will know what he is up to? No! It is the exact opposite of subterfuge. Nehemiah gathers all the facts before rushing into judgement. His desire for the truth is such that he is inquisitively seeking answers. It is as though he is saying, “Are the walls truly in shambles? What do our surrounding neighbours think of us? Are they antagonistic? I must know for myself.”

He anticipates the obvious objection that a newcomer can have no idea of the task, so he briefs himself thoroughly(verse 12) and chooses his moment to show his hand (verse 16). He would have lost this if he had been exposing half-formed ideas piecemeal to every acquaintance. But never does he compromise his convictions. Never does he compromise truth. It was when Judah compromised their ideals and the truth of the Torah that they went into exile.

The Slavery of Dishonesty

When Nehemiah is confronted by three critics, there is one that painfully stands out. In the list of accusers is a man named Tobiah. The name Tobiah is Jewish in origin and is borne by a powerful family in Ammon for centuries to come. He is referred to as a servant of the emperor and as the Ammonite. This did not describe Tobiah’s ancestry, but rather, his chosen sphere in which he had gained high office(verse 19). Many commentators believe Tobiah to be Jew who assimilated and abandoned the God of Israel.

The Freedom of Honest Self-Awareness

Tobiah’s very name means God is Good. He unlike Nehemiah is not being honest. He is not honest about his relationship with God or with his people. This is the very reason why Nehemiah calls him the “servant”(verse 19) or it can sometimes be translated as “slave.” Tobiah’s refusal to be honest leads to slavery, Nehemiah’s truthfulness though painful and leading to pressures and opposition is freeing.

Today recognise that God is your Good. Be honest about that. Accept his Grace and freedom will flow from there. It is God that makes us prosper and not ourselves.

Too Much Baggage

On more than one occasion I remember doing obstacle courses when i was in the army. There were vaults. There were ropes. There were beams. Think up an obstacle and some how a cadre member had already dreamed up that creative problem for you to overcome. To get through some obstacles we had to ditch some of our gear. Nehemiah gets off his horse. He has too much baggage. All he needs for YHWH to intervene is nothing. Empty handed, he now has the ability to receive.

Nehemiah 2:12 Then I arose in the night, I and a few men with me. And I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem. There was no animal with me but the one on which I rode. 13 I went out by night by the Valley Gate to the Dragon Spring and to the Dung Gate, and I inspected the walls of Jerusalem that were broken down and its gates that had been destroyed by fire. 14 Then I went on to the Fountain Gate and to the King’s Pool, but there was no room for the animal that was under me to pass.

We are now in the second chapter of Nehemiah. He has left his job as the royal cupbearer. He has heard of the plight of his fellow jews and has entered into their situation. When he arrives in Jerusalem he discovers the derelict walls. But he is not satisfied with secondhand information about the state of affairs. In the stillness of night, he steals away to inspect the wall. There comes a point that he realizes he cannot know the actual state of the walls unless he strips down from his position of privilege. There is some information that can only be gained indexically, that is, by first hand experience.

All you need is nothing. 

In order to properly survey the ruins he must enter into the ruined condition of the walls. He must ditch all pretenses and airs of being sorted. The only way that the city’s wall can be repaired, is if he admits his inability to bring about this repair.

Quite literally, Nehemiah has to get off his high horse. All he needs for YHWH to intervene is exactly nothing. The moment he comes to God empty handed, he now has the ability to receive. He never had the ability to receive while he was clinging to his power, wisdom, money and talents.

So it is with us. Often we come to God and say, “I will take you plus a little of my goodness.” Or “I will take you and little bit of my talents.” It is only when we come and say, “I will take you and no one else,” that we enter into that amazing covenant of love with God.

Jesus is not just the nobleman who dismounts a horse to inspect a wall. He leaves Heaven to enter into his people’s plight not only to see their broken down ruins, but to become broken down and ruined on the cross that we might be whole.

Lay your baggage down.